Five Steps to Keep Your Resolutions
To resolve or not to resolve, that is the question.
With a new year laying in wait, advertisers are having their moments trying to convince us we need this weight loss program, this exercise equipment, this tracking device, this organization tool.
Even if you didn’t think you needed something before you saw these ads, you start questioning, “Wait! Maybe I should (fill in the blank here)…” Right?
New Year, New You?
How do you feel about New Year’s Resolutions? I mean “New Year, New You” is the concept, right? I’ll certainly never begrudge anyone who wants to improve themselves in some way, at any time of year. Au contraire, I’ll do cartwheels around you in support!
Do know, however, that stats show that most New Year’s Resolutions are abandoned on January 19 and by Feb one, a whopping 80% of us have abandoned them all together!
Faced with those statistics, why bother? And if we do bother, then whatever does happen to our HooRah!, “I’m doing this NO MATTER WHAT!” and the “By golly, nothing can stop me!” resolve to do X, Y and/or Z? And how do we feel if we “fail” to stick to our resolution?
First, let’s address the “why bother” part of setting goals or resolutions.
Well, despite loving ourselves as we are (and we should definitely do so!), sometimes we want to make changes to improve something about ourselves- our health, education, emotions, relationships, appearance, organization skills, etc.
Excellent! Love it. There’s always room for improvement, growth and happiness. That’s something to strive for daily, no?
Then why do the statistics show such underwhelming success?
In this post, I’ll talk about:
- 4 common reasons some people abandon resolutions
- 5 Steps to keep your resolutions (with a couple of examples thrown in)
- and finally, what to do when life throws curveballs and you get off track
Reasons We Don't Stick To Our Resolutions
So with our good intentions out there, why don’t we stick to those New Year’s resolutions? It’s the time of year everyone is making them so why not me?
- Well, maybe it is that “resolution time of year” but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the right time for you. Like maybe it’s not the right time to resolve to go to the gym every day; it’s dark in the morning and after work, it’s freezing and snow and ice needs to be cleared off the car. Or maybe you or the kids are sick and it throws you off the new schedule. Maybe you aren’t able to develop your new goal into a habit with those factors thrown in.
2. Maybe after awhile you forget why you really needed that resolution anyhow? I mean, who really cares if the junk drawer is overflowing? Why do I have to organize every. single. drawer and cabinet? And, a size (blank) is perfectly acceptable, why do I need to look like a runway model?
3. Maybe your resolution just sucked in the first place. Let’s face it, it’s easy to get carried away. “THIS is the year I become my BEST SELF!” Mm hmm. And like who all of a sudden goes to the gym every day? From 0 to 60 isn’t very reasonable. And even, “I’ll get organized” is pretty vague…
4. Maybe you just don’t have the right tools with the right information to help you reach your goal. Diet programs aren’t one-size-fits-all and those commercials with the small print disclaimers of “results aren’t typical”, aren’t even kidding. And furthermore Peleton, FitBit, or the more money you spend on devices, is not always the answer.
All definitely good reasons that’ll see your resolve float away with the March winds, if not sooner!
Steps 1-4 to Help You Keep Your Resolution
So what can we do? And when I say “we”, my friends, I do mean me too.
Here’s a “Formula” to work with. A numbers 1 through 5 checklist of sorts to help you decide whether your resolution is achievable or if it’s even worth having at all!
#1 WHAT. Define your resolution. Be very specific here. Trying to achieve some vague goal is tough.
#2 WHEN. When do you want to accomplish this for or by?
#3 WHY Why do you want to accomplish this? What’s your motivation? Why do you REALLY REALLY REALLY want this?
#4 HOW exactly are you going to accomplish this goal? Success begins with a solid plan. In detail, how you’re going to do things on a daily (if not even on a minute to minute) basis is a must. Do you have a solid go-to plan if you get off course (your contingency for emergency)?
Resolution Examples...Will they work?
Finally. Before we get to our last step, let’s look at these resolution examples and their “WHAT, WHEN, HOW and WHYs” and see if you think they’re going to work.
Example One:
#1 WHAT: I want to run the Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon with my husband and kids cheering me on.
#2 WHEN: The marathon is on May 7th this year.
#3 WHY: I’ve never run before and I hear this marathon is a blast. It’d be so awesome to cross that finish line and see my fam!
#4 HOW: Start running every day.
The “What” sounds amazing, doesn’t it? And then..oh dear. It all goes to crap. It started breaking down pretty quickly. In particular, that zero to sixty thing. It’s totally not healthy to try to achieve marathon level running in five months if you’ve never run before. Plus, your husband doesn’t have enough vacation time to go to Cincinnati even if it was in the budget, which it isn’t. Furthermore, running a marathon is definitely not “a blast”, and in fact, is super dangerous if you’re not properly conditioned and the “How” of “start running every day” is going to get this goal setter nowhere…except to the hospital!
How ’bout this one?
Example Two:
#1 WHAT: Lose 30 pounds
#2 WHEN: By June 1
#3 WHY: For swimsuit season!
#4 HOW: Exercise and eat right 5 days a week.
Again, it starts off sounding good huh? Def more reasonable than the above example. Maybe. Six lbs/mo is kinda doable, but is it sustainable each month until June? And furthermore, what exactly does exercise and eat right mean? Like, is there a plan for that? Eating “right” and exercising are both resolutions in and of themselves that need detail. And what happens when the ole “I’ve got plenty of time until June so I’ll just skip this weekend and make up for it later” and “oh forget it, there’s no way I can catch up now” sets in?
Whaddya do then? Do you feel like a failure? Lose self confidence and give up? Ugh.
Step Number 5 Towards Keeping Your Resolution
Yeesh. This resolution business is hard. How about we just forget about it?
Just kidding folks. No free pass for you to forget about improving yourself. At least not from me…I’m all about the support here!
Resolutions. They. Are. Possible! Read on…
So how is it possible to get to keep your resolution and move on to achieving your goal?
Number 5: FLESH IT OUT. Pun intended my friends! By this, I mean, here’s where you make it come alive.
Really think on it. Take your What, When, Why and How. Think on it. Really.
Write it down. Work through it. Make changes, scratch it out, rewrite it. Own it. Feel it and breathe it. Is it realistic for you. Do you really really want it? In essence, can you actually picture yourself in it, doing it, being whatever your “it” is?
Identify any obstacles that might keep you from achieving “it”? What can you foresee happening that will make it hard for you to get there? How are you going to overcome that?
Keep writing all of this down. Get a pretty journal to keep with you. Or do this on your e-device if you must. But keep adding and tweaking until your resolve is a workable part of you.
Make a vision board. Journaling and Vis boards are all the rage. For a reason. Post photos of what your perfect test results would look like, the outfits, the marathons, inspirational words and quotes, and in essence, anything and everything that is your goal and that motivates you. Stare at it, breathe it in, picture you in it.
Then go do something that moves you towards it. (that wasn’t hard was it?) And then go do more somethings.
Journal again. Your successes. And in contrast, your hardships too, for they’re all learning tools.
Have resources on hand to help you. YouTube vids like Louise Hay, podcasts, music, chemical free chewing gum (just watch out for dogs and xylitol) tea, mantras, quotes, a friend or hotline to call, a distracting or focused activity (for example a quick workout or meditation) as needed, epsom salt baths, a non toxic candle…and maybe even all of the above on some days. It’s all good.
Journal that for future reference too. How’d it make you feel? Did it help?
BTW how are you feeling? Energized? Discouraged? Blessed? Rippin’ mad? Impatient? Sore? Exhilarated? It’s all part of LIFE in general, including a part of your resolution process! Take several deep breaths and repeat to yourself, “I am doing great” until you believe it.
Because you are doing great. Don’t underestimate the power of positive self talk.
Set written rewards for reaching milestones. (I’ve got a perfect reward idea for you right here. Or check out my Favorites page for other supportive ideas.)
Made consistent time to nurture a relationship? Walked consistently for a month? Spent daily quality time with your pup? Ate zero processed foods for one week? Lost the first 5 pounds? Went to sleep at the same time? No e-devices past 7pm?
Whatever specific timely goal you’ve reached, celebrate it in some way by setting a reward for it. Chances are 99.9% that your reward anyway is that milestone. Nonetheless, a little reward on top to celebrate your hard work helps. A purchase from the used bookstore, a new to you thrifted item, replacing an “old favorite” with a non toxic, chemical free item, are a few examples. (Visit my “Favorites” page here for ideas.)
What to do When You Get Off-Track
What happens if you “slip up” before the next milestone?
First and most importantly, practice some self-care and forgiveness. No matter what the case, there’s no need for harsh self-judgment.
Have a solid “contingency plan” written down stating just what you’re going to do to get right back on track and focused, in the event that X, Y or Z happens.
Be specific! In other words, don’t just say “I’ll eat better tomorrow” or “I’ll work out extra later”. Instead, be specific like, “I will begin my next meal with warm lemon water and a filling salad (check out my post here for awesome ideas) and then continue on with my scheduled eating plan.” Or, “I will add an additional 5 minute warmup and cool down to my next workout.”
Perhaps these realistic contingency plans are enough of a deterrent that it’ll keep you on track! Because maybe you don’t want two salads the next day or don’t want to make time for the extra work out add-ons.
Whatever you do, do NOT EVER speak negatively to yourself.
Slip up? Fall off? Stop for awhile? In truth, know that these are not failures. Just the opposite, these times are lessons you can learn from by developing tools to prevent them from happening again. These times are an important part of the growth process.
If you choose to consider these times and yourself as failures and choose to not learn from them, then you’re depriving yourself of a wonderful opportunity to practice self love and new tools for future improvement!
Seriously!
Specifically, give some thought to how you deviated from your goal and why. What made you abandon the pics on your vis board or the good feelings you’ve already experienced from your successes? Reset. Go back and see if your 1-5 is still relevant. Maybe it needs tweaking?
New Day, New and Improved You!
There. This resolution business doesn’t have to be hard. Just thoughtful and focused. Time consuming, initially for sure. But empowering. And totally worth it. Because. You’re. Worth. It.
Every good business plan and subsequent successful business has a plan that is specific, articulated, focused and adaptable. It’s able to roll over each obstacle that comes it’s way. Just like you will with your plan.
Why? Because if you thoughtfully went through the What, When, Why, How, and the finally, of fine tuning your goal, then indeed, your goal is “resolution business” worth working for and throughout each step of the way succeeding at!
Accordingly, you’ve set yourself up for success! And you DESERVE to reach it! And. You. Can! Naturally!
I’m a firm believer that Every. Single. Day. Is. A. Gift. Each moment, truthfully.
Awake each day gratefully, with prayer, and with excitement for the opportunities that are just waiting for you!
There’s no time like the present. A gift. The gift of new opportunities for you to unwrap all day, every day.
Unwrap your strength. Unwrap delight in something new. Unwrap the feelings of your best effort. You’ve got this!
I’d truly love to hear from you. Having trouble? Reach out! I’d love to turn those cartwheels in support of you. Let me know what I can do for you. I’m here because I know that you’re worth it!
“There is nothing stronger
than a woman
who has
rebuilt herself.”
Hannah Gadsby
